If you want to get a close shave, grabbing the razor on the way out of bed is not the solution. First thing in the morning your skin is still a bit puffy from sleep. So give it 20-30 minutes for your skin to tighten back up to normal. You’ll get a closer shave because more of the hair follicle is exposed.

2. Prepare Your Skin

If you want a quick and guaranteed way to butcher your skin, just slap on some shaving cream on your dry, room temperature skin and take a razor to it. You will exfoliate your skin the wrong way, get more nicks, and oh yeah- it hurts like hell. Take a nice hot shower or wrap a hot moist towel around your face and neck for a few minutes before you shave. It softens the follicles, opens the pores, and give you a smoother surface to work with.

3. Moisture Matters

This one gets overlooked a lot. Your skin craves moisture, and I can almost guarantee you aren’t moisturizing enough. So, before you shave, take a few minutes and moisturize. Get in there and really let your skin soak it up. And don’t forget to moisturize after shaving. A great after-shave lotion should contain aloe vera.

4. EXFOLIATE! EXFOLIATE!

You should be exfoliating anyway, just because it makes your skin look better. But, it also helps reduce redness, razor bumps, and ingrown hairs. It does this by eliminating dead skin cells and giving you a closer shave and a cleaner surface that won’t trap hairs or get irritated.

5. Slow Down the Growth

There are thankfully some really good shaving cream products out there that help to slow hair growth. One is Aveeno’s Positively Smooth Shave Gel. Another is Dollar Shave Club’s Dr. Carver’s Pillowy Shave Lather. Both work to slow hair growth and give a much smoother finish.
[amazonjs asin=”B00LO2PD3M” locale=”US” title=”Aveeno Positively Smooth Shave Gel – 7 oz”]

6. TECHNIQUE!

This is one that often gets overlooked. When it comes to the face, you might have seen the approach of all downstrokes on the face, and up strokes on the neck. The truth is, that isn’t going to give you the closest shave. You want to give your hair one to two passes (only one if your skin is sensitive) going with the “grain” or hair growth direction, and one that goes against it. Just gently rub your face and you will quickly be able to tell what direction that is.

7. All Shave and No Replacement Makes Jack a Dull Razor

It is a universal truth that the most dangerous blade, of any kind, is a dull one. You have to use more passes and more force to exert the same effort. It’s a losing game. So replace that blade every 2-3 times you shave. I know it gets more expensive, but if you want results and you don’t want to butcher yourself- it’s a necessary evil.

8. Choose Your Weapon

A good razor is core to a good shave. You want something that follows along your contours and glides easily on the skin. Many in the transgender community swear by the Gillette Sensor- which does work well. However I am also a fan of the “Venus” line of razors. I feel like they follow contours better.
[amazonjs asin=”B010D4X86K” locale=”US” title=”Gillette Sensor Excel Razor – Men – 100% New – With One Pre-loaded Cartridge”]
[amazonjs asin=”B001JQLNFA” locale=”US” title=”Gillette Venus Spa Women’s Razor, 1 Razor Handle and 2 Razor Blade Refills”]

It is this thickening that makes your voice become deeper. Think of it like guitar strings- the thicker the string the lower the tone. For trans men, this means that HRT will alter your voice and give you a more traditionally masculine voice. Unfortunately, no amount of estrogen or testosterone blocking will skinny up your vocal chords. It’s one of the sad truths about HRT for transgender women- we just don’t experience as many physical changes as trans men do.

There are surgeries that you can undergo to attempt to change your voice, but these can be risky and are most certainly expensive. Luckily, however, you can train your voice to become more “feminine” by altering your pitch, tone, and speech pattern. It isn’t a quick or easy fix, but it has worked for countless trans women and it can work for you. These are the techniques that have been used long before we had the alternatives of surgery. No matter where your voice is now, no matter how deep, you can make headway. Now, you won’t go from Barry White to Mariah Carey- let’s be honest here. However, you will see a difference if you put in the work.

Here, the beautiful and prolific Stef Sanjati goes over the exercises and practices she has employed over the last year for voice training and displays the results comparing her own voice over the course of a year.

Just remember, it’s more than pitch. Talking like Mickey Mouse isn’t going to accomplish your goal. You need to keep in mind pitch, tone, and flow (speech patterns)- it is only in altering all three that you will get the results you want.

One final note, please keep in mind what Stef says in her video. It is important that you are doing this for the right reasons. Don’t do it because you feel obligated, or because you think it is expected. Do it because it is something you want and it will help you to feel more complete. As with every stage of transition, do voice training because it is what you want.

Check out Stef’s YouTube Channel for more great videos.

Beard Shadow and the Color Wheel

See, the color wheel is the great tool that can be as simple or complex as you like. For our purposes we want to look across the color wheel, from one color to its opposite. For us that means we need to take a look at the blue and see what color is opposite of it.

As you can see, the blue we are dealing with is opposite shades of orange. Much like you can use a concealer or cream in green to cancel our redness or zits, you can use an orange color to cancel out the stubborn blue.

So by introducing a concealer or a cream makeup, or even lipstick, in a shade of orange; you will be setting a base that can be covered by foundation and camouflage the blue of your shadow.

Here you can see a great demonstration by Chelsea Jade Conroy

They Are Like 742 Different Kinds of Wigs

Okay, slight exaggeration. But there are quite a few different kinds and designations. You have Halloween or costume-style wigs, lace front, full lace, full cap, synthetic, human hair, or blend. Here is a video that breaks it down for you. Just keep in mind, wigs are one of those items where you get what you pay for. Yes, I have gotten lucky a few times and found cheaper costume-style wigs that work really well and look pretty good- as long as you are doing bangs and not showing where the hair on the skin meet. However, you WILL see the difference when you start looking at higher end wigs.

They Never Look Like They Do On the Package

Sure, they look great on the package label or in the ad. But it’s almost a certainty that the resemblance of your wig to the picture will be sketchy at best. Some, generally higher-end, will look pretty good with just a little shake when out of the package. However if you are getting cheaper wigs online, or at a costume shop, or stocking up at Halloween- you are going to need to do some work. Which leads us to our next topic.

One Size Fits Some

If your only experience is with costume wigs then you may not know anything about cap size. Costume wigs are made to fit the widest audience possible and so they tend towards big. With any wig beyond that, you will start running into cap sizes. It is vital that you get the right size. It should fit comfortable around your head and fully cover your hair from the nape of your neck to your temples. If it feels too small, or like it might slip WALK AWAY! Trust me when I say, you can not will a wig to fit.

You Are Going to Have to Learn to Style Your Hair

Odds are you have no clue how to do women’s hair styles, at least early on. But you will need to learn how. Costume-style wigs are going to give you the least flexibility on product and styling. You don’t want to use a dryer, except on a cool setting for a blow out. Straighteners and curling irons are a no-no as well. As you start moving up in quality you fill find that higher quality synthetics start allowing you to use these tools. Just keep in mind that with a synthetic, the most you should push it is 400 degree Fahrenheit. Human hair offers the most flexibiity, as you would expect.

You Will Need Some Accessories

It is amazing how many people never give a thought to what they may need to care for and maintain their wig. First of all, if you want your wig to last (and not become a tangled Tribble when your dog gets a hold of it- it happens.) then you are going to need a wig stand. This doesn’t have to be expensive. You can often get a Styrofoam head for cheap online and you can often find them cheap at costume shops. I also found a six pack of wig stands for just a couple of dollars, and they have worked very well for me.

Also, you are going to need a brush. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Here is one that gives you both a paddle brush and a pick-style brush for only $6.95 with free shipping. It is important to note that you want to avoid brushes for natural hair, especially with synthetic wigs. If you must use a regular brush, use one with rubber tips to avoid damaging the fibers.

Finally, you will want a wig cap. Some people hate them, but frankly they extend the life of your wig. They do that by absorbing some of the oils that the wig would collect, requiring more washings. And washing is the number one damage source for wigs.

Get Clean

Despite the damage it does, washing is vital to the care of your wig. You will want to wash your wig ever 10-12 wearings. More often if you use a lot of product in your hair. So try and keep product use to a minimum. You also should know that you don’t wash a synthetic wig like you do your own hair. It requires a gentle touch, and some specific products. You can find a full tutorial right here.

It’s Not a Hat

Your first and most important step in care for your wig is in how you put it on. You may not think about it, but not only can you damage a wig by putting it on incorrectly, you also greatly improve the look of the wig by putting it on the right way. Here is a video from the amazing Headcovers.com’s Youtube channel that gives a good primer.

Clear Your Mind

Even if you don’t have the burden of transitioning and changing your presentation to the entire world, altering their view of you- the human brain is somewhat…crowded. I know for me personally, it feels like my brain is the wall of TVs in “The Truman Show” with different feeds changing and flashing constantly. Some nights it’s like trying to fall asleep in a pinball machine.

We could all use a little clarity and mindfulness and meditation can give that to us. It doesn’t have to be all “woo woo” chakras and third eye business either. If that works for you, great. But for the rest of us, meditation is just like any other exercise- just for your brain. It’s learning to focus yourself and concentrate on clearing your mind of all the thoughts running around in your head.

If you have never meditated before, there are some really great apps that offer guided meditation- and they are completely free. Insight Timer is a wonderful app that offers hundreds of guided meditations on a slew of different topics. You can search for something that seems like it might fit your situation. Breathe is a way to dip your toe into meditation and be guided all the way. Answer a few questions about how you are feeling and how you are doing, and it will serve up a short meditation that is aimed at what you need.

And if you are one of those “I can’t concentrate that long.” folks, then take heart. There are many meditations that are only a couple of minutes long. Perfect to build up your meditation muscles.

If You Want to Transition on a Budget, You Have to do Your Research

You may not have gotten to grow up as a girl and spend your formative years learning to do things most girls do. But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn now.

Makeup/Skin Care/Hair

There is a world of information out there for you. You can find 10’s of 1000’s of makeup tutorials on YouTube from professional makeup artists and other trans women. Personally I suggest Kandee Johnson, Wayne Goss, and Nickie Tutorials. I especially like Kandee because of her personality and the fact that she doesn’t ignore that budgets are a thing and she includes mention and use of “drug store” makeup as well as high end stuff. All three though are entertaining and fun to watch. They also cover a lot of skin care tips. You can also find many video tutorials on hair care and styling. There is no end to what you can find.

Clothes

Along the same lines, take this time to learn about clothes. And more than just what designers are hot. Learn about what cuts flatter certain body types, find out how to camouflage your body and how to minimize and maximize certain areas. You should also learn what your colors are and what matches your skin tone. Go through catalogs, online or in print, and take some time to learn what you like. Yeah, you like dresses, but what kind? Is an A-line your style? More retro cut? Fit and Flare? Tulip cut? What patterns? This is a huge opportunity to do some self-discovery and find out more about who you truly are for the first time.

Here is the thing that you may not think about first off. Treat your wardrobe as a female the same as your old wardrobe. You need day clothes, you need clothes to go to the store, you need clothes to go to work. Sure that little black dress and heels look great, but aren’t really practical to hit up the Costco. So observe the staples that every woman wears and how they dress things down.

Also- do yourself and learn about shoes too. You need to know about more than heels because, trust me, no woman wears heels every day.

Law of the Land

It would be stupid and irresponsible to pretend that your aren’t about to embark on a difficult journey, you need to know how your change will affect you legally. Rights and laws vary from state to state and you should know what they are and how much or how little you are protected. You can start by taking a look at Lambda Law.

Let’s Get Physical

If you aren’t working out already, now is the time. Hormones can sap your energy and cause you to gain weight. So get a jump on it now by getting in your best shape possible. Plus, let’s just face it, a smaller frame is a more feminine frame. You can’t change your bone structure but you can use fitness to help shape your body into your ideal shape. You can check out our fitness articles here.

Pitch Perfect

For some girls, voice is a challenge. No matter how they look, the voice isn’t quite what they hoped for. Thankfully there are vocal exercises and techniques you can use to help soften your voice. Yes, there is surgery available, but it’s expensive and risky. Give this a shot while you are still in the early phases.

Quit Smoking

It deepens your voice. It damages your skin. It kills you. You can’t smoke during HRT. It’s a waste of money. Whatever you have to do, quit smoking. You owe it to yourself.

Learn From Others

There are many blogs and YouTube channels from transgender women that talk openly and frankly about transition. Learn from their experience. Seeing and reading about others who have gone through the struggle you are going through is educational and cathartic. You will learn valuable information, and maybe be able to not make a few of the same mistakes.

A couple of our favorite channels are Ty Turner and Princess Joules.

Observe Your World

You have the single greatest learning tool you could ever need to prepare for transition- your eyes. Start paying attention to women, and seeing them in a different way. Watch how they walk, how they dress, how they wear there hair, how they talk. Does the way they dress flatter them? If not, what could be done different? Start observing and you will learn a lot. Practical information is always the best information. And if you want to learn how to present as a woman, learn by watching women.

Stop Thinking About Transitioning

I know, it seems counter intuitive, but sometimes you just have to flip the switch and go grab an adult beverage, curl up with the dogs, go out with friends, watch an episode of Supernatural, or just fire up the game console- anything that isn’t about transition. Yes, it’s huge. And yes, it’s on your mind a lot. But it CAN NOT be an obsession and the only thing that you think about. Not only will it drive you insane, but it will cause the rest of your life to suffer. Spending time with friends, and doing hobbies that you have always loved seem less important when you are burning out your emotions with transition. So take time for you, just you- regardless of gender or where you are in transition. Take time for you as a person.

Trust me. It doesn’t. Ever.

Once you have the right measurements, you can finally determine your body type. That’s huge when it comes to learning how to dress yourself. Dressing for your shape helps proportion out your body and maximize your assets. Which is probably what you are going for.

So learn what every woman has to learn eventually. Sizes can run wildly different from one brand to the next, but if you know your sizes- and how to take them correctly; you have the decoder ring to decipher any size chart.

But in the end, remember that this is the single most important size and clothing rule there is. DO NOT BREAK IT.

And let us know in the comments how measuring like this worked out for you.

As of this writing, police still have no real leads on a suspect or even a motive. However, Young was a sex worker with a prostitution conviction in 2015. It’s believed that may have played a part in this murder.

Others in the city have spoken up about the death of Mya Young, releasing several statements about the tragedy.

“The community is heartbroken once again with the senseless slaying of another transgender woman of color,” wrote Naiymah Sanchez, a coordinator with the Philadelphia based TransHealth Information project on her Facebook page.

Nellie Fitzpatrick, director of the Mayor’s Office of LGBT Affairs, said, “My heart is with her sister, family, friends, and community,” adding, “We must work harder as a city, state, nation, and society to protect and support transgender people.”

She is also fondly remembered by her friends. “She looked like chocolate and caramel,” said Anthony Harper, a longtime friend and former roommate of the 25-year-old transgender woman. He used to call her “Twix,” like the candy bar. “She was sweet, like candy,” he said.

At least 21 transgender people were killed in the United States last year, the highest total on record, according to the Human Rights Campaign.

Two were slain in Philadelphia, including Kiesha Jenkins, 22, who was beaten, robbed, and gunned down in Logan in October, and London Kiki Chanel, 21, who was stabbed to death last May in North Philadelphia.

The Philadelphia Police Department is looking for information in the Mya Young case, and if you have it, you can call the PPD Police Homicide Unit at 215-686-3344 or 911.

A $20,000 reward for information leading to an arrest and conviction in this case.

A Little Clarification

First off, let’s be clear, transition doesn’t have to necessarily be full time. Perhaps it’s just you taking your first part-time steps- dressing, makeup, clothes, etc. So don’t get discouraged if you can’t go big-time on the budget right now. Obviously, if you have more disposable income, you have a few more options. But for today, we want to focus on starting out slowly on a budget.

Transition on a Budget – Shopping

You have a surprising number of options for shopping on a budget when you are starting. We will get into specifics of topics in other articles. For now, we will just talk a bit about where you can spend your money.

Dollar Stores

Whether it’s a Dollar Tree, Dollar General, or any variation of those; these stores are a great resource for finding items you can use. You won’t find much, if anything, in a way of clothes. But you can pick up makeup, skin care, general beauty products, hair care, and some accessories. This is the perfect way to kick-start your transition and get the most mileage out of your money.

Big Box Stores

As they advertise, places like Walmart and Target are stores where you can find most anything you need. So, save for a few “specialty” items, this is a one stop shop. At Walmart especially, you can find items fairly cheap. You will spend a bit more here than the dollar stores, but obviously, you can’t get everything there and you will want to step up your game. One of the great things is that these stores are generally so busy that no one notices what you are shopping for. And many stores have self-checkout lanes. So you can pay for your items with a bit more privacy too, if you haven’t built up your confidence yet.

Clearance Aisles

Wherever you go, always make a habit of checking the clearance aisle. Most drug stores and stores like Walmart will have a decent clearance area, and you would be amazed what you can find there. Makeup, skin care, hair care, accessories, hosiery and socks, under garments, and more. Always raid the clearance aisle and save some money.

Online

For ease and privacy, nothing beats online shopping.

eBay

eBay is truly one stop shopping and one of the cheapest ways to get things. I can also tell you that is an incredible place to shop for jewelry and build up a collection. More on that in another article, but just know that you can get all sorts of bracelets and necklaces for less than a dollar with no shipping. It was a huge way to start my collection. You can also find things like makeup organizers, makeup bags, and brushes for very cheap. No, these aren’t professional quality brushes. But they allow you to learn and put some abuse on them before you throw down on some higher-end brushes.

Be warned however, if you are shopping for clothes, make sure you have your sizes down. Take your measurements and check the size charts. Some places will not honor refunds, especially on personal items. Also, note if the model wearing the clothes is Asian. If so, they are probably using Asian sizing which runs MUCH smaller than American sizing. If you wear a large, you might find you need a 2XL in those lines. If you are trying to transition on a budget then it doesn’t how cheap it is if you can’t wear it.

Amazon

Amazon is another option for you, and offers a huge selection. You can search and find items pretty cheaply. However, I would suggest that before you buy something, check it on eBay first. I found a necklace for $30 on Amazon that was .99 on eBay. I’m not kidding. This is also a great place to get makeup and beauty supplies for cheaper than in the stores.

Poshmark

If you have a smartphone then you need this app. Of course you can also use their main site, but the app is outstanding and easy to use. Sellers list clothes they do not want at discount prices, and you pick them up at a steal. You can set up your sizes and see only what fits you in listings. If you find a seller who has items you really like, you can follow them. And most sellers offer bundle discounts for buying more than one item. You can also make offers and haggle on the price a bit. I’ve saved some big money by shopping with them.

Forever21

Depending on your style, it may not be for everyone. However, Forever21 does boast a wide selection and has an outstanding plus section. Their regular prices are not necessarily budget-friendly, but if you click on their sale sections (they have sales constantly) and clearance areas then you can find deep discounts on really nice clothes. We are talking tops from $5 and up, and dresses from around $12.99 and up. They also are pretty much always offering shipping specials. And if you want camis, trust me you want camis, they start at $3.99 for regular sizes and $4.99 for plus-size.

Again, I cannot stress enough the quality and selection of the plus-size section. If you need a little larger fit, they are amazing. I highly suggest, however, at least making one trip in to the store to find out your size in items. Shopping becomes much easier then. I personally have never had a problem in their store trying on items. Even when coming in presenting as male. Don’t expect a ticker-tape parade, but I’ve never gotten a sideways glance. We live in a great time.

The truth is, you can find cheap deals most anywhere you look. Even the typically expensive Torrid has some good clearance sales. Just keep your eyes peeled and always been looking.

In part two of this series we will be covering what you can do for FREE when you transition on a budget. Trust us, it’s super important that you do them too.

First reported in the Oregonian, Delta Upsilon and Delta Tau Delta have pledged to reach out in greater numbers to the LGBT community at their Eugene, Oregon campus. The two fraternities are joining along with a handful of fraternities across the nation in creating a movement to further acceptance. Notably, Xi Omicron Iota- a sorority at Missouri State University, changed their bylaws to accept anyone who “identifies as a girl.” And the national organization Sigma Phi Epsilon announced that they would be considering transgender men.

Henry Korman of Delta Upsilon stated that the fraternity wants to change the idea of “frat culture” and become more diverse and inclusive.

“There are people in the community who might not have a comfortable place, a social group where they fit in,” Alec Malnati, Delta Tau Delta chapter President, said. “I’m just really hopeful we can be that place for people.”

The two houses hold out hope that the other 17 fraternities on campus won’t be far behind and taking their lead.