We asked some trans men who have been through the process of transitioning while in a relationship for the best kind of support they would or could have been offered, and other helpful things to consider in a similar situation. (Note: Things are different for every person, situation and relationship. This is from the perspectives of four trans-identified people who offer up their own experiences as personal advice.)

Rudy is 25, Middle Eastern and identifies as a straight male. He had a girlfriend during his social transition at 22 (so no surgery or hormone usage at the time). They are no longer together but are still friends.

Evan is 27 and from Los Angeles. He realized he was trans* at 18, but didn’t start transitioning until he was 22. He is now married to a cisgender woman and identifies as queer, using male pronouns.

Leo is 26 and has been transitioning over the last eight months. He has been in a relationship with the same woman for four years, and she has been “extremely supportive.”

Simon* is 32 and began medically transitioning two years ago, although he identified as genderqueer/on the trans spectrum for the last 10 years. He identifies as a trans man. He was in a three-year, long-distance relationship at the beginning of his transition.

Q. When you came out and were beginning the transition process, what was your partner’s reaction and how did it make you feel? Was there something you would have liked for them to do better/different?

Rudy:  Well, she was very supportive—I was actually extremely transphobic before I came out. Of course, that was me internally not accepting myself.

Evan: I realized I was trans* when I was 18 while I was at college in San Francisco. My girlfriend at the time was really supportive with me becoming comfortable discovery what being trans. We broke up for a reason that had nothing to do with being trans*.

I lived in a gray area of genderqueer for four years too scared to transition mostly out of fear of the unknown. During that time I was in a on-again/off-again relationship with a girl that started off as a long distance thing but after two years she moved in with me. We broke up for many reasons one was she was very controlling and had problems with my genderqueer “stuff” i.e my deodorant or the fact that I wear boxers and men’s clothes. After we broke up I hit what I call the Trans Walls, where I needed to face the fact that was was not living and if I didn’t transition I was going to kill myself.

I met my wife about a year into my transition. When we met my wife identified as straight, I know that I am very lucky. When it comes to being with a trans person support is the most important thing. Also being realistic. With a transition all your relationship go though a transition, and sometimes lovers become friends. I understand why a lesbian  would not want to date me. I’m fabulous, but I look very, very much like a man. On the other hand I get why most straight woman would not want to date me.

Leo: Coming out to my partner wasn’t difficult at all. I kind of had one of those “thought out loud” type of moment. We were laying in bed about to go to sleep when I was thinking about how to tell her and it just came out. She turned and looked at me and told me that she was fine with it. She loved me for who I was, not my gender or what I had in between my legs.

Honestly, if I could go back and repeat that moment, I wouldn’t change a thing. In an awkward kind of way, it was perfect.

Simon: I began the transition process about six weeks before I told my girlfriend at the time. There were several reasons for this. First, I wanted to make sure that starting hormones felt “right” to me before I told a lot of people, particularly those with a much stronger vested interest in my gender/identity, like my girlfriend and my family. I had been debating about starting hormones for so long that I wanted to make it easy on myself to stop them if I didn’t like what happened, or if taking them didn’t make me feel any better. I was also a little worried about her reaction because I had a friend in college whose girlfriend broke up with him because she did not want to date “a man” and was a “lesbian.” I figured that because we were apart, dealing with that kind of reaction long-distance would be harder than if I could tell her in person.

Because my girlfriend and I lived apart, it was easy for her not to know. There aren’t many huge changes in the first few months, so there wasn’t too much physiologically for me to discuss, and anything I did want to chat about, I talked to my trans friends about. When I did tell my girlfriend, it was the first time we had seen each other in person in about four months. I told her over lunch while visiting her on the east coast. She took it well and didn’t seem too concerned at first. But she also is very much an internal processor, so even if she had been troubled, I’m not sure how much of that would have come out at first. She identified as queer as well, and had a history of dating cis men, so I think to her, the change was not threatening in any way.

I learned after we broke up that she was much more upset about my waiting to tell her than she initially let on. I was happy with her reaction, I suppose. She is not particularly outwardly-emotive, so I wasn’t expecting a lot of enthusiasm. She told me she supported me and that was what I wanted to hear. Had I known how upset she was that I had waited, I would have been able to better explain why I felt the stakes were so high and why I decided to wait.

First reported in the Oregonian, Delta Upsilon and Delta Tau Delta have pledged to reach out in greater numbers to the LGBT community at their Eugene, Oregon campus. The two fraternities are joining along with a handful of fraternities across the nation in creating a movement to further acceptance. Notably, Xi Omicron Iota- a sorority at Missouri State University, changed their bylaws to accept anyone who “identifies as a girl.” And the national organization Sigma Phi Epsilon announced that they would be considering transgender men.

Henry Korman of Delta Upsilon stated that the fraternity wants to change the idea of “frat culture” and become more diverse and inclusive.

“There are people in the community who might not have a comfortable place, a social group where they fit in,” Alec Malnati, Delta Tau Delta chapter President, said. “I’m just really hopeful we can be that place for people.”

The two houses hold out hope that the other 17 fraternities on campus won’t be far behind and taking their lead.

Okay, don’t forget them, they are pretty awesome too. But one of the biggest physical traits men exhibit is that class “V” shape that starts with a broad top and tapers down to a fit waist. And let’s face it, the bigger your back, the smaller your waist looks.

We aren’t talking about super definition, at least not right off the bat. What we want to focus on is getting the foundation muscles laid and starting to shape your body.

The best reason to really focus on your back is the most obvious. The stronger your core is, the stronger your body is. You will never build true strength if you don’t pay proper attention to your back and core. Plus it helps prevent back injury and fatigue, and in general, it just makes you feel better and more energized.

So check out these exercises to start getting your muscles built up, and you might be surprised how quickly you see the changes in your body.

And what a handsome man he is. Dat smolder doe.

Ty is celebrating two big years on testosterone, and all of the changes that have come along with it. The physical changes have really been amazing as I’ve followed Ty’s videos for a while now. To see how his outside has grown to match who he was inside is just incredible.

And can we talk about these muscles?

So check out his video and let us know what you think.

You can check out his entire YouTube channel here. Or you can follow him on Facebook or Tumblr.